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Advice
    • I caught my girlfriend cheating on me!
      I caught my girlfriend cheating on me!J, a man from California writes: I was with my first love for almost 2 years, and I caught her being shady on her phone and we split up.  A couple weeks later she lied to me and we got back together, but I knew something felt off so a few weeks later I found the proof in her phone, she had been messaging a guy from her childhood who lives halfway across the state.  She sent him naked pics, and they both sent masturbation videos to each other and she would say things like “you’re my soul” or “Apple of my eye”, and they talked on and off for at least half the relationship that I have proof of.  So I once again dumped her.  All I know is I know I deserve better but I just can’t get over her for some reason.. sorry for the long rant.. but I would like to know you’re opinion and or advice. Two big issues Hi again, OK, thanks again for sharing all that. Based on what you said, it appears to me that there are two big issues that you are dealing with, in terms of her behavior: 1) betrayal – in terms of your trust being betrayed when she hid things from y ou and lied to you, and 2) cheating – her giving her attention, time & energy to this other person. In order to deal with things, it’s useful to make a distinction between those things, because they have different effects on you. Trying to dealwith them as if they are one single thing is more challenging and will likely be less successful. How to get over her So, you asked, how do you get over her also. First off, if you haven’t already, let yourself accept that she hurt you and let yourself grieve that. Humans need to have a period of time to grieve the loss of something that they love, and men are no exception. You loved her, and you left her because she was unhealthy for you, and you will need to accept that that hurts and let yourself feel that hurt and grieve it. It takes letting yourself feel all the suckiness and shitstorm of crap that comes up in your mind & heart & body as you feel the grief. Holding it at arms length just let’s it build up strength. When you are finished grieving, you’ll know it. The day will just suddenly be clear and she’ll no longer have power over your mind or heart. You’ll be over her. Finding the balance There is a balance however, and that is not letting yourself get sucked into a black hole of despair. Let yourself feel the grief, but don’t let it dominate you. Balance. When she starts dominating your mind or heart, focus your attention on building yourself into a better person. Do the things that you love doing without her…things that didnt involve her. Build platonic relationships with other people and do new things that you’ve always wanted to do. Basically, go forward with your life. When you do something awesome that you like to do, it tricks your mind and heart, conning them into the joy of the present, and starving the toxic gravity of your old sweetheart. It’s a skill you build It’s a skill…the more you do it, the easier it gets, like playing guitar. It may be rough going at first, but as you choose yourself more often, and choose doing things that you like, you will come to like and value yourself more and care less and less about her. Eventually you’ll wake up one day and just be over her, and she won’t have any power over you any more. Best of luck with everything, and thanks for asking for help! Most guys are too stuck up to do it, and they end up repeating toxic patterns over and over again and never getting anywhere! Ready To Take Your Love-Life To The Next Level? Enter your name and email address below to receive occasional special insider content!   All the best, Kristopher Lovestone Success! Now check your email (and spam folder) to confirm your subscription. There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again. Email Address Get Some! Please Share This Post! Click a button below to share this post on social media... Read more...
    • I keep being dumped! What should I do?
      I keep being dumped! What should I do?M, a woman from Zambia writes: I have a problem with keeping my relationships. I end up being dumped i dont know where i go wrong.  And currently the guy i love is seeing someone else–he told me so himself and told me to hang on. I really dont know what i should do Kris!  And this has been disturbing me, I cant concetrate in school.   Get self empowered Hi, Thank you for sharing that with me! What I recommend in these situations are things that will support YOU by empowering YOU. If you are feeling strong and “full” (like your tanks are filled up), like you are whole and complete, then you will be much better able to handle other people’s issues. Set your standards So one of those things that I recommend is developing some standards for yourself so that you don’t get treated like a doormat. To do that it helps to figure out some of the things that you need from the other person in order to feel good about being in a relationship with them. Do your homework I made a worksheet that helps you to work this out for yourself. It’s free. Let me give you the link to download it. It sounds like it could really help you to get clear on what you want, what you’ll stand for and what you won’t stand for. Here is the link: http://consciouscock.com/agreements/ Make some agreements Most people get into relationships without making any agreements. Then when trouble happens, they don’t have any handles to hold on to. If you have agreements, then you can easily measure whether or not each of you is living up to your end of the agreement. It makes it much easier for you to relax your mind and focus on your work! Ready To Take Your Love-Life To The Next Level? Enter your name and email address below to receive occasional special insider content!   All the best, Kristopher Lovestone Success! Now check your email (and spam folder) to confirm your subscription. There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again. Email Address Get Some! Please Share This Post! Click a button below to share this post on social media... Read more...
    • My Girlfriend is Hiding Our Relationship From Her Ex.
      My Girlfriend is Hiding Our Relationship From Her Ex.J, a Navy officer, asks: So here’s the situation. I’ve been with this girl for a little over a year and a half. We’ve broken up a few times, but for the most part, it seems like we’re together for the long run. So before her and I met, she hooked up with a guy named X. They stopped talking because he got into a relationship, which happened before her and I got serious. About a month ago, he messages her this long essay on why he stopped talking to her and that he never wanted to hurt her yadda yadda yadda. And they kept talking. So I asked her to not talk to him because it makes me uncomfortable. She continued. Today is the third time I told her to not talk to him. Immediately she turns it on me digging up old stuff. I figure out that it was more than just a one night stand and they had feelings for each other. And she’s going all “its my life, you can’t tell me who i can and can’t talk to.” Which I agree with, but I told her it hurts me that she would lie about him, not tell him we’ve been together for the last year and a half, and continue talking to him after I’ve asked her twice. So I give her an ultimatum to either not talk to him, or we break up for good. So we’re in a big fight rn. Did i overreact? Am I in the wrong here and I should just let this go? What should I do?   Ultimatums aren’t helpful OK, thanks for sharing all that with me. I think I get the picture. Your ultimatum was probably not the best thing to do, but I understand what you were trying to achieve by it. I would recommend taking back the ultimatum and diving into a slightly different conversation with her about it. It’s FINE for you to have a boundary about your partner in regards to other people and past lovers. That’s totally fine. It’s also fine for her to talk to whoever she wants to talk to. Putting a restriction on her like a rule is indicative of ownership, and you don’t own her.   An empowering alternative That said, a slightly different take is both empowering to you and honoring her sovereignty/freedom For example, you can set a boundary that is like an ultimatum, but slightly different.  For example you take an approach like this instead: It makes me feel really bad if you talk to your past lover and don’t tell him honestly about our relationship status, and it makes me feel like I can’t trust you. So for me, I realized that I have a boundary. If we are going to be in relationship like we’ve been and you are going to continue to talk to your ex lover, I need you to tell him about our relationship and be honest with him about where we stand and who we are to each other. I don’t want to be possessive here to tell you who you can talk to. I’m sorry I did that. I shouldn’t have. I don’t own you, and I want you to be free to talk to whoever you want to ttalk to, including past lovers, but if you want to be with me, I need you to respect that I need your past lovers to know honestly about who you and I are to each other and that we’re in a relationship together. If you hide it or lie about it that makes me feel like you are ashamed of us and don’t want to be together, and I don’t want to be in a relationship like that.   It’s about being transparent and honest It’s about being transparent about what is coming up for you and telling her where your line is, but without making it an ultimatum. i.e. you’ll be fine if she doesn’t want to meet your requriement about being honest about your relationship with her, but you’d like to stay together and have her respect you by telling him about you and her. Ready To Take Your Love-Life To The Next Level? Enter your name and email address below to receive occasional special insider content!   All the best, Kristopher Lovestone Success! Now check your email (and spam folder) to confirm your subscription. There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again. Email Address Get Some! Please Share This Post! Click a button below to share this post on social media... Read more...
    • How to deal with underwhelming erection quality?
      How to deal with underwhelming erection quality?“S”, a man from England, asks: I have entered a fairly new relationship and I’m having great sex, we where both quite frigid and my girlfriend told me she never came before having sex with me. The issue is, I don’t have a problem getting it up, but I have a problem keeping it up! Half a year ago I stopped masterbating  and watching Porn, and I would of thought this would of really helped me out in the bedroom. But for some reason, I find myself at half mast. Just wondering if you had any ideas to help me out?   So many guys ask about not getting hard enough. It’s a big deal for a lot of guys. I’ve also experienced it myself and healed it (my sex life had become mundane and I couldn’t super hard). There are a few main categories that half mast problems can fall into.  Note: I do NOT advocate medication. I only advocate life changes that can create results. Not turned on enough The single most common reason that I’ve seen is because the guy’s mind isn’t turned on enough. LOTS of things contribute to that. For example, not being in love with the woman, a feeling that you are doing something wrong (like a guy who is cheating on his wife), being exhausted, playing a role that you “should” play rather than doing what you really want to do in life, not being turned on enough by your partner or the sex or her energy isn’t hot enough to get you super hard. These are addressed by identifying what specific things DO get you super hard and what things don’t, and then making and implementing a plan to change your sex-life to bring in more of the things that get you super hard and have less of the stuff that doesn’t. That can be as simple as watching porn while you have sex with your partner or exploring a fantasy together, but you need to have the communication tools to help you bring them up in a way that doesn’t trigger your partner. (This is the category I fell into personally, and I healed it by changing my sex life with my wife so we did things that made me super hard and really got me off). Use it or lose it Another main category is losing erection quality because of physical anatomical degradation. i.e. use it or lose it. Guys who don’t have regular erections and regular ejaculations lose penis size and erection quality. If the pc muscle loses it’s strength then the erection and ejaculations get weaker. This can be addressed by simple penis exercises to strengthen the muscles and restore elasticity to the tissues. Within a month you see real serious results by doing 5-20 minutes of exercises 3 times per week. The flip side is that you can hurt yourself if you do the exercises wrong or too vigorously, so having a coach is really a good idea! You don’t want to hurt yourself down there! Internalized sexual shame The last big catergory that I have seen has to do with internalized sexual shame. What I mean is that sometimes sexual shame gets stored inside our body and results in physical malfunction. For example feeling that my penis is too small and is not powerful enough to be satisfying for my partner can literally result in muscles in the pelvis locking up, atrophying, becoming painful, and ceasing to function. Some guys end up with killer pain in their groin or pelvis that doctors can’t release. For these a combination of physical therapy or a specific stretching regiment with emotional clearing work can release the internalized shame from the body tissues and restore normal healthy functioning. Make a positive change So, those things said, there are definitely other things that also can contribute, but these are the biggest reasons I have seen. The great thing is that these can be dealt with and healed with simple methods just by changing what you do in your life. So many guys live in mediocre sex lives and never look for a way to make it better, so good for you for taking a step to improve your sex life!!! If any of this resonates with you and you have any more questions or would like any help, just let me know. I’m happy to help. Thanks again for asking!!! I wish more guys would be as brave as you!   Ready To Take Your Love-Life To The Next Level? Enter your name and email address below to receive occasional special insider content!   All the best, Kristopher Lovestone Success! Now check your email (and spam folder) to confirm your subscription. There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again. Email Address Get Some! Please Share This Post! Click a button below to share this post on social media... Read more...
    • How to handle a relationship with someone that is bisexual?
      How to handle a relationship with someone that is bisexual?“G”, a man from Massachusetts, asks: How do you think it’s best to handle a relationship with someone that is bisexual?   I recommend complete transparency and honesty! Especially about sexual desires, and especially at the very beginning of the relationship. Say what you want to have/do and what you dont want to have/do and say it without guild or shame or expectation, and let the chips fall where they may. Sit through any emotional reaction that comes up and just ask to have a conversation (mental/rational) about it. Share your complete sexual history And I’d share each others complete sexual history (but not in gorey detail unless you both get off on that) so you both know exactly what you are getting into.  It builds trust that you can count on the other person even with the hard to talk about conversations... Bringing up the hard stuff If you need to know how to bring something difficult up, you can watch my video on saying the unsaid:   If you’d like any more help, I’d be happy to speak with you and better-focus my advice for your specific situation. If you have questions or want to inquire about coaching, please get in touch. Ready To Take Your Love-Life To The Next Level? Enter your name and email address below to receive occasional special insider content!   All the best, Kristopher Lovestone Success! Now check your email (and spam folder) to confirm your subscription. There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again. Email Address Get Some! Please Share This Post! Click a button below to share this post on social media... Read more...
    • Can Women Have Instant Orgasms?
      Can Women Have Instant Orgasms?“W”, a man from Illinois, aks: Is it possible to make a woman have instant multiple orgasms to the point of orgasmic eruptions? If so how and are there different ways of doing so?   Yes it’s possible, but not in most situations! Usually for a woman to be able to have instant orgasms she needs to have her mind turned on first.  If her brain is aroused, then she might be able to reach instant orgasm with a hot fast quickie done right. But if her brain isn’t turned on, then it’s going to take time to warm her up. Plan ahead So if you plan ahead a bit, then you can foster situations where you get her brain turned on in advance, and then when you have a chance to have sex you have a better chance of getting her to have instant orgasms and ejaculations. Dont’ use your cock If those are your specific goals, then I recommend not using your cock. You will be more able to precisely control the stimulation with your fingers and hands and tongue.  I know from wonderful personal experience that by inuendo and dirty talk and sending sexts and naughty pictures to my partner, I can get her mind turned on and get her hot for me. Then when we have a chance for a quickie, if I give her a hand job and go down on her at the same time, I can much more easily get her to come instantly and have ejaculations. You need to understand how to get her mind turned on, and then you need to understand her anatomy: the g-spot and clitoris most of all–and then be able to let go of the need for yourself to have an orgasm and just give them to her.  You can have some later after she’s come a half a dozen times on your mouth and hands. I recommend using your fingers inside her to massage her g-spot whie your tongue massages her clit, and then when she gets super hot switching to the ejaculation stroke with your hand to push her over the edge.  Can probably make her come in less than two minutes this way. Female Ejaculation Stroke If you don’t know the female ejaculation stroke, you can watch a sexually explicit instructional video on tube8 here. For further help Any of these things could be a challenge to bring up, so again if you’d like to talk I’d be happy to speak with you and better-focus my advice for your specific situation. If you have questions or want to inquire about coaching, please get in touch. Ready To Take Your Love-Life To The Next Level? Enter your name and email address below to receive occasional special insider content!   All the best, Kristopher Lovestone Success! Now check your email (and spam folder) to confirm your subscription. There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again. Email Address Get Some! Please Share This Post! Click a button below to share this post on social media... Read more...
    • How to help husband orgasm / have more sex
      How to help husband orgasm / have more sex“O”, a married woman aks: It is tough for my husband to ejaculate with me. He seems to prefer to masterbate. I am left feeling unsatisfied because I want to have more sex. ?   It can be hard to overcome orgasm roadblocks, but here are three great ideas to get you started! Turning on the mind There can be multiple intersecting issues at play, and I am making no assumptions or judgements here about you or him. It sounds like his mind needs to be turned on more though. The mind is the biggest erogenous zone for any human being.  If you aren’t able to explore fantasies in your relationship with each other, it may indicate that you could benefit from opening up the lines of communication between you to explore mentally exciting things with each other.  That said, fantasies that please one person may shock or turn off the other, so they need to be brought up properly to reduce the risk of shock or insult and increase the chance of an empowering & bonding outcome. In my past I have personally experienced many times when my wife could not make me come.  I had a lot of things on my mind.  We didn’t feel like we were emotionally very close at the time, and I was having thoughts about wanting to date other people….my mind was elsewhere. So getting his mind turned on will help him to get to a level of arousal where you can make him come more easily. Type of touch Another thing that might be a contributing factor is the type of touch that you are using.  Again, I’m not making any judgements, but I know from personal experience that sometimes my wife just doesn’t touch me “right”.  What is “right”?  It’s different for each person.  AND it changes from one day to the next! I would recommend opening a dialog about what kind of touch is most enjoyable for him. For example, if you have a regular parttern of just doing one type of movement (like maybe for example’s sake a pile-driver in & out  repeatedly very fast), that might not be the right kind to “get him off”.  The best errogenous zone of the cock is the frenulum, and massaging it, vibrating it, and licking it with flicks can all lead to an orgams better than a pile driver on guys who can’t come easily.  And of course there is the magic spot of the prostate that is almost a guaranteed orgasmic explosion! Couples Porn You know, I’ll share a personal experience with you, if you don’t mind.  My wife and I really get a HUGE sexual charge from watching high-quality “feminist” couples porn together.  When we’ve had troubles getting excited enough to have wonderful sex because life is full and hectic and the worries are overwhelming, it can help us to get into a highly aroused state.  I’d recommend checking out lustcinema.com for any of Erika Lust’s work. She has lots of 20-minute long videos based on real life experiences submitted by real people in the “xconfession” series. For further help Any of these things could be a challenge to bring up, so again if you’d like to talk I’d be happy to speak with you and better-focus my advice for your specific situation. If you have questions or want to inquire about coaching, please get in touch. Ready To Take Your Love-Life To The Next Level? Enter your name and email address below to receive occasional special insider content!   All the best, Kristopher Lovestone Success! Now check your email (and spam folder) to confirm your subscription. There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again. Email Address Get Some! Please Share This Post! Click a button below to share this post on social media... Read more...
    • Is A Curved-Down Penis Better For Sex?
      Is A Curved-Down Penis Better For Sex?“M”, a man from Algeria writes: I have a curved down penis. Is it better for sex, and if so, what positions?   The downward curved penis is different A curved down penis is better for the woman in some sex positions, but not other sex positions. It just has it’s own different benefits & drawbacks. Recommended intercourse positions Reverse Cowgirl – For Curved Down Penises to hit the G-spot The downward curve can be used to hit her g-spot and a-spot during doggy style and reverse cowgirl.  You must be careful not to hit her cervix too much. So I recommend reverse cowgirl position because the woman will be in control of the position and can get the tip of your penis on her g-spot without hurting her cervix. This uses your downward curve to its best benefit for her pleasure. Deep Throating Deep-Throat is easier with a curved-down penis The other thing that a curved down penis is better than a straight or curved up penis is for deep-throat blowjobs. It’s easier for your partner to open her throat and deep throat a curved down penis. A curved up penis can trigger her gag reflex very easily, while a curved down penis slides down the back of the throat easier. Straightening a downward curved penis If you want to straighten your penis permanently, you will need to do some exercises called jelqs. Over the course of a few months you can straighten your penis with jelqing exercise, but you must be careful not to hurt your penis. It is best to have a coach to help you and make sure that you do not hurt your penis.  If you have questions or want to inquire about coaching, please get in touch. Lasting longer in bed The single most effective thing that men with curved down penises can do to last longer in bed is do PC muscle exercises called kegels. This simple exercise increases stamina, erection quality, staying power and orgasm pleasure and reduces premature ejaculation and urinary incontinence. This free worksheet shows basic, intermediate and advanced pelvic floor muscle exercises to strengthen and tone the penile musculature.   Ready To Take Your Love-Life To The Next Level? Enter your name and email address below to receive occasional special insider content!   All the best, Kristopher Lovestone Success! Now check your email (and spam folder) to confirm your subscription. There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again. Email Address Get Some! Please Share This Post! Click a button below to share this post on social media... Read more...
    • Looking to inspire my husband
      Looking to inspire my husband“B”, a married mother of a toddler from Canada writes: I am looking to “wake up” my sex life. My partner and I have been together for 8 year.. And sex has become routine…. As in we do the same ole thing everytime. I am have a higher sex drive… Looking to inspire my husband… You know, that my wife and I went through that very thing when we had a child when we had been together for 8 years.   I am happy to say that we came through it and are now more in love and more loving and sexual with each other than before. The Secret That Saved Us I’ll share with you the secret that saved us. It was being honest with each other about what we wanted and didn’t want.  That may sound simple or obvious, but it was neither to us!  It took many forms, not the least of which was sharing our fantasies and sexual desires with each other. [clickToTweet tweet=”Sharing your fantasies can save your marriage/relationship. It brings you closer together & kindles the fire again.” quote=”Sharing your fantasies can save your marriage/relationship. It brings you closer together & kindles the fire again.” theme=”style3″] I started it because I, like you, had the higher sex drive and was more unsatisfied with our sex-life than she was.  So I used some really powerful communication tools (that I can share with you if you are interested) that allowed me to bring up my sexual dissatisfaction and fantasies in a way that helped her to receive them well without being threatened or shocked or anything. Opening the Door Bringing them up to talk about one time didnt solve the problem, but opening the door to allow ourselves to have these conversations in our lives together easily is what solved the problem because it allowed us to explore a new side to ourselves. That brought us closer together by bringing us more intimacy and sexual fulfillment! Ready To Take Your Love-Life To The Next Level? Enter your name and email address below to receive occasional special insider content!   All the best, Kristopher Lovestone Success! Now check your email (and spam folder) to confirm your subscription. There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again. Email Address Get Some! Please Share This Post! Click a button below to share this post on social media... Read more...

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Conscious Cock

4 weeks ago

Conscious Cock

Super excited to have this kickass conversation on the Shameless Sex Podcast !!!
What does it mean to have a conscious cock? How can penis owners (who are vulva admirers) learn to be better partners and lovers?
We also answer a sex question about porn affecting orgasms.
Want to skip to the interview? Fast forward to minute 18.
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#202 Cock Mastery: What Does it Mean to Have a Conscious Cock? - With Kristopher Lovestone — Shameless Sex Podcast

www.shamelesssex.com

What does it mean to have a conscious cock? How can penis owners (who are vulva admirers) learn to be better partners and lovers? Click to listen
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Sex-Life, Relationship, Dating & Intimacy Tools! Empowering men to achieve deep satisfaction with their love-lives & foster their sacred divine masculine

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consciouscockKristopher Lovestone@consciouscock·
27 Feb

Get the audiobook version of Conscious Cock for free if you order the ebook or paperback before midnight pacific February 29th! http://consciouscock.com/book/

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consciouscockKristopher Lovestone@consciouscock·
11 Feb

Get your sweetie something *really* amazing this Valentine's Day: deeper pleasure! http://consciouscock.com/book/

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consciouscockKristopher Lovestone@consciouscock·
7 Feb

Finally available for purchase http://consciouscock.com/book/ Just in time for Valentine's day! Years of work cracking the code on liberated, ethical male sexual empowerment boiled down into a simple to master system. Fuck yeah!

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consciouscockKristopher Lovestone@consciouscock·
28 Jan

Conscious Cock, the book, is finally going to be published! Coming out February 7th (just in time for valentine's day) as paperback, ebook & audiobook! Find out more at https://consciouscock.com/book/

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consciouscockKristopher Lovestone@consciouscock·
10 Dec 2019

If you want to open doors of sexual possibility with someone work on building trust. Season it with playfulness and you'll have an amazing chance at magic happening.

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