“O”, a married woman aks:
It is tough for my husband to ejaculate with me. He seems to prefer to masterbate. I am left feeling unsatisfied because I want to have more sex. ?
It can be hard to overcome orgasm roadblocks, but here are three great ideas to get you started!
Turning on the mind
There can be multiple intersecting issues at play, and I am making no assumptions or judgements here about you or him.
In my past I have personally experienced many times when my wife could not make me come. I had a lot of things on my mind. We didn’t feel like we were emotionally very close at the time, and I was having thoughts about wanting to date other people….my mind was elsewhere.
So getting his mind turned on will help him to get to a level of arousal where you can make him come more easily.
Type of touch
Another thing that might be a contributing factor is the type of touch that you are using. Again, I’m not making any judgements, but I know from personal experience that sometimes my wife just doesn’t touch me “right”. What is “right”? It’s different for each person. AND it changes from one day to the next! I would recommend opening a dialog about what kind of touch is most enjoyable for him. For example, if you have a regular parttern of just doing one type of movement (like maybe for example’s sake a pile-driver in & out repeatedly very fast), that might not be the right kind to “get him off”. The best errogenous zone of the cock is the frenulum, and massaging it, vibrating it, and licking it with flicks can all lead to an orgams better than a pile driver on guys who can’t come easily. And of course there is the magic spot of the prostate that is almost a guaranteed orgasmic explosion!
You know, I’ll share a personal experience with you, if you don’t mind. My wife and I really get a HUGE sexual charge from watching high-quality “feminist” couples porn together. When we’ve had troubles getting excited enough to have wonderful sex because life is full and hectic and the worries are overwhelming, it can help us to get into a highly aroused state. I’d recommend checking out lustcinema.com for any of Erika Lust’s work. She has lots of 20-minute long videos based on real life experiences submitted by real people in the “xconfession” series.