Yes No Maybe Exercise – Worksheet Download

Yes No Maybe Exercise by Kris Stone
Yes No Maybe Exercise by Kris Stone

Spice up your relationship!

For most couples, one or both of the partners often feel like they aren’t exploring as many of their fantasies and desires as they would like.  Things can become stale & routine, and the spice and excitement wears off.  One of the ways to spice things up a bit again is to do this exercise!

Find out what your mutual erotic interests are!

Download & print out the worksheet twice, and give your partner one copy to fill out while you fill out the other.  Go down the list of activity possibilities and answer honestly if each one is something you are interested in doing, not interested in doing, or you might be interested but you aren’t sure yet.  Just put a check in either the Yes, No or Maybe column.  If you have any special thoughts about any specific activity, then write a note in the Notes column.

Then when you are both done put your sheets side by side and highlight any activities that you both answered Yes to and any activities that one of you answered Yes to and the other answered Maybe to.

Enjoy the new possibilities!

Then have a fun lighthearded flirty discussion about which of the activities you’d like to try together first, and make a plan to do them soon!  Let the excitement of trying new things together fill your relationship with joy and pleasure, and let yourself feel into the fact that by doing this exercise you and your partner are playing and exploring together! It’s super special to have a person that is interested in exploring new things with you, so show your appreciation and be giving and generous!

 

Download the Yes No Maybe Worksheet

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I caught my girlfriend cheating on me!

J, a man from California writes:

I was with my first love for almost 2 years, and I caught her being shady on her phone and we split up.  A couple weeks later she lied to me and we got back together, but I knew something felt off so a few weeks later I found the proof in her phone, she had been messaging a guy from her childhood who lives halfway across the state.  She sent him naked pics, and they both sent masturbation videos to each other and she would say things like “you’re my soul” or “Apple of my eye”, and they talked on and off for at least half the relationship that I have proof of.  So I once again dumped her.  All I know is I know I deserve better but I just can’t get over her for some reason.. sorry for the long rant.. but I would like to know you’re opinion and or advice.

Two big issues

Hi again, OK, thanks again for sharing all that. Based on what you said, it appears to me that there are two big issues that you are dealing with, in terms of her behavior: 1) betrayal – in terms of your trust being betrayed when she hid things from y ou and lied to you, and 2) cheating – her giving her attention, time & energy to this other person.

In order to deal with things, it’s useful to make a distinction between those things, because they have different effects on you. Trying to dealwith them as if they are one single thing is more challenging and will likely be less successful.

How to get over her

So, you asked, how do you get over her also. First off, if you haven’t already, let yourself accept that she hurt you and let yourself grieve that. Humans need to have a period of time to grieve the loss of something that they love, and men are no exception. You loved her, and you left her because she was unhealthy for you, and you will need to accept that that hurts and let yourself feel that hurt and grieve it. It takes letting yourself feel all the suckiness and shitstorm of crap that comes up in your mind & heart & body as you feel the grief. Holding it at arms length just let’s it build up strength.

When you are finished grieving, you’ll know it. The day will just suddenly be clear and she’ll no longer have power over your mind or heart. You’ll be over her.

Finding the balance

There is a balance however, and that is not letting yourself get sucked into a black hole of despair. Let yourself feel the grief, but don’t let it dominate you. Balance. When she starts dominating your mind or heart, focus your attention on building yourself into a better person. Do the things that you love doing without her…things that didnt involve her. Build platonic relationships with other people and do new things that you’ve always wanted to do. Basically, go forward with your life. When you do something awesome that you like to do, it tricks your mind and heart, conning them into the joy of the present, and starving the toxic gravity of your old sweetheart.

It’s a skill you build

It’s a skill…the more you do it, the easier it gets, like playing guitar. It may be rough going at first, but as you choose yourself more often, and choose doing things that you like, you will come to like and value yourself more and care less and less about her. Eventually you’ll wake up one day and just be over her, and she won’t have any power over you any more.

Best of luck with everything, and thanks for asking for help! Most guys are too stuck up to do it, and they end up repeating toxic patterns over and over again and never getting anywhere!

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Kris Stone

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Conscious Cock Brotherhood Men’s Circle

This is the space for courage and deep work.  This is not a woo-woo touchy feely cicle. Here, we are facilitated to be bold and get real, being radically honest with ourselves and each other, learning from each other, and giving and getting the true support that we need from other good men.

We begin each cirlce with ground rules and introduction to the special format. Then we each in-turn, should you so desire, share with the group what comes up for you. This simple structure provides us with a system that creates accountability and facilitates deep learning and massive change-making, and it provides us with much needed support and encouragement and solidarity that help us to turbo charge our evolution.

It’s so hard to “go it alone”.

The healthy, conscious path forward is to build a web of interconnectedness, friendship and allyship with other good men who are also working to make the world a better place. The Conscious Cock Men’s Circle format makes that a reality and helps us to carry our light forward to affect the world in a positive way.

In this container we get real about sex, women, parents, children, work, power, and our process at this point in our lives.  We enliven it with lightheartedness and playfulness, and a deep strength in our ability to hold space for each other to reveal our secrets so we can lighten our hearts and minds and stay in dynamic, interactive, improvised dance with the world and our relationships.

It’s not all about sitting in circle talking. We also get out an do: adventure activities, sports & hard work projects to help one of the brothers make an improvement in his home or work. Men connect by doing as much as by talking, and the circle container we create facilitates both.

So bring your raw truth, your pain, and your humor to the group & get real, make friends, and leave feeling seen, understood on a deeper level and like you have a profound support from other good men to be who you authentically are in the world.

 

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Kris Stone

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Conquer Small Talk With These Great Conversation Starters!

Ever found yourself stuck in traditional small talk with someone you just met while you really wanted to get to know them on a deeper level? Too often we just talk about the weather, what our work is, and where we are from — but those things don’t *really* teach us much that’s meaningful!

Here are five tried and true conversation starters that are both safe to use and extremely powerful at breaking through the small talk and getting into a conversation of real substance.

 

These kinds of open ended questions give the person an opening to share something real with you so that you can really get to know something important and have a chance of “clicking” with each other.

Want more? Download a whole list of kickass conversation starters here:

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Kris Stone

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