How to help husband orgasm / have more sex

“O”, a married woman aks:

It is tough for my husband to ejaculate with me. He seems to prefer to masterbate. I am left feeling unsatisfied because I want to have more sex. ?

 

It can be hard to overcome orgasm roadblocks, but here are three great ideas to get you started!

Turning on the mind

There can be multiple intersecting issues at play, and I am making no assumptions or judgements here about you or him.

It sounds like his mind needs to be turned on more though. The mind is the biggest erogenous zone for any human being.  If you aren’t able to explore fantasies in your relationship with each other, it may indicate that you could benefit from opening up the lines of communication between you to explore mentally exciting things with each other.  That said, fantasies that please one person may shock or turn off the other, so they need to be brought up properly to reduce the risk of shock or insult and increase the chance of an empowering & bonding outcome.

In my past I have personally experienced many times when my wife could not make me come.  I had a lot of things on my mind.  We didn’t feel like we were emotionally very close at the time, and I was having thoughts about wanting to date other people….my mind was elsewhere.

So getting his mind turned on will help him to get to a level of arousal where you can make him come more easily.

Type of touch

Another thing that might be a contributing factor is the type of touch that you are using.  Again, I’m not making any judgements, but I know from personal experience that sometimes my wife just doesn’t touch me “right”.  What is “right”?  It’s different for each person.  AND it changes from one day to the next! I would recommend opening a dialog about what kind of touch is most enjoyable for him. For example, if you have a regular parttern of just doing one type of movement (like maybe for example’s sake a pile-driver in & out  repeatedly very fast), that might not be the right kind to “get him off”.  The best errogenous zone of the cock is the frenulum, and massaging it, vibrating it, and licking it with flicks can all lead to an orgams better than a pile driver on guys who can’t come easily.  And of course there is the magic spot of the prostate that is almost a guaranteed orgasmic explosion!

Couples Porn

You know, I’ll share a personal experience with you, if you don’t mind.  My wife and I really get a HUGE sexual charge from watching high-quality “feminist” couples porn together.  When we’ve had troubles getting excited enough to have wonderful sex because life is full and hectic and the worries are overwhelming, it can help us to get into a highly aroused state.  I’d recommend checking out lustcinema.com for any of Erika Lust’s work. She has lots of 20-minute long videos based on real life experiences submitted by real people in the “xconfession” series.

For further help

Any of these things could be a challenge to bring up, so again if you’d like to talk I’d be happy to speak with you and better-focus my advice for your specific situation. If you have questions or want to inquire about coaching, please get in touch.

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Kris Stone

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Is A Curved-Down Penis Better For Sex?

“M”, a man from Algeria writes:

I have a curved down penis. Is it better for sex, and if so, what positions?

 

The downward curved penis is different

A curved down penis is better for the woman in some sex positions, but not other sex positions. It just has it’s own different benefits & drawbacks.

Recommended intercourse positions

Reverse Cowgirl – For Curved Down Penises to hit the G-spot

The downward curve can be used to hit her g-spot and a-spot during doggy style and reverse cowgirl.  You must be careful not to hit her cervix too much. So I recommend reverse cowgirl position because the woman will be in control of the position and can get the tip of your penis on her g-spot without hurting her cervix. This uses your downward curve to its best benefit for her pleasure.

Deep Throating

Deep-Throat is easier with a curved-down penis

The other thing that a curved down penis is better than a straight or curved up penis is for deep-throat blowjobs. It’s easier for your partner to open her throat and deep throat a curved down penis. A curved up penis can trigger her gag reflex very easily, while a curved down penis slides down the back of the throat easier.

Straightening a downward curved penis

If you want to straighten your penis permanently, you will need to do some exercises called jelqs. Over the course of a few months you can straighten your penis with jelqing exercise, but you must be careful not to hurt your penis. It is best to have a coach to help you and make sure that you do not hurt your penis.  If you have questions or want to inquire about coaching, please get in touch.

Lasting longer in bed

The single most effective thing that men with curved down penises can do to last longer in bed is do PC muscle exercises called kegels. This simple exercise increases stamina, erection quality, staying power and orgasm pleasure and reduces premature ejaculation and urinary incontinence. This free worksheet shows basic, intermediate and advanced pelvic floor muscle exercises to strengthen and tone the penile musculature.

 

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Looking to inspire my husband

“B”, a married mother of a toddler from Canada writes:

I am looking to “wake up” my sex life. My partner and I have been together for 8 year.. And sex has become routine…. As in we do the same ole thing everytime. I am have a higher sex drive… Looking to inspire my husband…

You know, that my wife and I went through that very thing when we had a child when we had been together for 8 years.   I am happy to say that we came through it and are now more in love and more loving and sexual with each other than before.

The Secret That Saved Us

I’ll share with you the secret that saved us. It was being honest with each other about what we wanted and didn’t want.  That may sound simple or obvious, but it was neither to us!  It took many forms, not the least of which was sharing our fantasies and sexual desires with each other.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Sharing your fantasies can save your marriage/relationship. It brings you closer together & kindles the fire again.” quote=”Sharing your fantasies can save your marriage/relationship. It brings you closer together & kindles the fire again.” theme=”style3″]

I started it because I, like you, had the higher sex drive and was more unsatisfied with our sex-life than she was.  So I used some really powerful communication tools (that I can share with you if you are interested) that allowed me to bring up my sexual dissatisfaction and fantasies in a way that helped her to receive them well without being threatened or shocked or anything.

Opening the Door

Bringing them up to talk about one time didnt solve the problem, but opening the door to allow ourselves to have these conversations in our lives together easily is what solved the problem because it allowed us to explore a new side to ourselves. That brought us closer together by bringing us more intimacy and sexual fulfillment!

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All the best,
Kris Stone

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